Persuading your children to do things that they really don’t wanna do can be tiring, but stopping your children from doing the things you don’t want them to do can be feverish. So when you are caught in the frenzy of encouraging your children, listen to the experts.
Something more than just rewards.
There was this guy named Alex, who gave his daughter a candy, every time she peed in the potty during toilet training. But one day, Alex handed her a ‘pretend candy’ as the reward. When his daughter hopped off from the potty, Alex found nothing inside. And when he asked his smiling daughter, she replied saying that she made a pretend pee.
Smart girl! Clever kids know to work their way around any reward system. And the positive effects of rewards are always short lived. Though it’s true that giving rewards can motivate your child to go over the hump. However, the psychologists says that the behavior become dependent on the rewards, and stops along with reward. People go to work and get paid. But what if the pay stopped? Of course, they wouldn’t go for the job again.
This is even true in cases, where the person is completely sincere towards his work. While bribing your child for a short term is not a big issue, but it is to be noted that external rewards won’t build your child’s character.
Then what should you do? Encourage your child to do the things that makes him feel good. Let him learn a new skill or talent that he loves. In this way, this not only makes him more successful in life, but also makes him more happy. It’s because, the feeling of mastering a skill is tremendously pleasurable.
Conversion means something.
Curiosity is a part of childhood. Children are always behind discoveries. They like to learn new things, and this understanding may sometimes appeal to their intellect.
A woman named Sarah would bribe her child with a toy from the dollar section while grocery shopping, so as to make him behave properly. While her husband, Tony makes their kid do the things that he want him to do by teaching him life lessons. After the kid cleaning his bedroom, Tony would admire the bedroom saying that it looks clean and beautiful. Through this Tony imparts a lesson in to the kids life. Thus the child would keep his room clean even after him growing up in to an adult.
Experts advice the parents to refrain using words such as should and must, and to be there when the child needs help. When your child don’t want to do a job, never scold him. Rather try saying, ” You seem to be tired after your volleyball practice. Why don’t you take some rest, and after dinner we could clean your room together?” Try getting more closer to your child, and help them impart values in their life.
Imperfection make them perfect.
It’s usually seen that children in the age of 3 – 5, easily lose their interest in doing chores. Thus as parents try to embrace their flaws that being too picky. If your child got the comforter off the floor, instead of saying that it’s hanging unevenly, praise his effort of doing so.
Sometimes children love to do some particular chores. Let it be sorting matching socks, or separating warm laundry. When you come to know about that chores that your child love, make sure that he gets to do the job.
There was once a kid who loved to play waiter. So his mother would ask him to clear the table, and do the dishes, and he did the chores with no hesitation.
While for the chores that your child don’t want to do, let your creative juices flow. Use a puppet to ask you kid to clean his shoes, or to rush daddy to bed. But never force your child to do a particular job. Kids like adults don’t like to be controlled. Thus children like to believe that what they are doing was their choice.
Lastly, having a strong relationship with your kid is vital than any of the other measures. Characters doesn’t always appear magically as a result of genes. There is a lot that we can do to encourage and motivate our children to become a better person.